Today's post is "A letter to my teenage self"
Dear Teenage Kerry!
Hi there I know this sounds crazy (probably not to you, though, you are a little bat shit crazy!) but
I'm you, from the future and I'm writing to you from the year 2016 and your now 30 years old!!
Now just a bit of advice for you and how to deal with the future and the shitty bits that are gonna crop up!!
First one is bullies! You'll be reading this in your teens so it'll be a bit of a crappy time for you at school, STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!! I know it sounds hard but the ugly, fat pig that spits in your hair only does it when he's in a group so get him on his own and kick him in his bollocks!! The girl in maths that throws things at the back of your head, sharpen a pencil and stick it in the back of her hand!! The lad that keeps calling you a lesbian is doing it because your a better footballer than him and he probably fancies you! ignore him.
When You and your best friend are hanging out and a guy in a mac comes over, run!! he's going to flash you!! don't worry there not all that small! looking back at it now it's pretty hilarious but your 14 so it's pretty horrific at the time!
You are probably starting to think about boys soon, one massive piece of advice is DONT!! Keep your head in football and give them a wide birth! you have a few shitty years of heartache that will shape you into a man hater for a while, but don't worry You'll meet a lovely, sexy man in 2006 and sorry to scare the shit out of you but you end up getting hitched at 24! (don't worry though you get married in Orlando!!)
You end up having 2 beautiful children so ignore your hubby's best friend when he says your children will come out looking like Dexter from Dexter's laboratory! (DONT PANIC YOUR HUBBY DOESNT RESEMBLE HIM EITHER! MORE.......POSTMAN PAT!) ;) I know you heave at sick and shit but get used to it because these mini gremlins they call babies shit and spew full time!!
I can't really help you with much more, just live your life to the full and although it can be a rollercoaster it's all about the ride!!
From the future you!
Thanks for reading.