So tonight I'm feeling pretty fucking shit!!
My little man started swimming lessons nearly a year ago and to start with he hated it, which at first I just thought it would take a while to get used to, he's used to going swimming and having fun, not having to endure been taught etc so I waited for a few weeks to pass.
The tears and the "please mammy don't make me go" disappeared and he started to make friends and really love it! Then came the badges and certificates! GREAT!!
Then we went on holiday and he had a little accident and went under the water. From then on it has all changed! He cries every week in the changing rooms then when I finally talk him round (usually with bribes!!) he gets in the pool, swims on his front great, but then when he's asked to swim on his back it sounds like his instructor is trying to drown a banshee!! Adults that are swimming with the gym give up on their relaxing swim and the shaking of the heads and the tuts start taking their turns in going round!! Of course, all the other children are swimming quietly and I can tell what the parents are thinking of my child.
Then it's time to get out and the "mammy can I still have a treat" starts and it's yet another outburst because I have said no!
Why do I keep doing this? Why do I keep taking him somewhere and forcing him to do something that he doesn't want to do!? I'm so frustrated with myself tonight as I booked him in for a 1-2-1 with the instructor which was a pretty intense 40-minute lesson. I watched him from the screen and he was swimming!! Even on his back!! wow, I thought.......
40 minutes passed and I went to collect him, as soon as I stepped foot into the changing room I could hear his cries from the pool, my heart sank.
Turned out he had been crying for the full 40 minutes (I was informed by a pissed of swimmer that wanted a relaxing swim!!)
He was sobbing, and I felt absolutely shite about the whole thing! why do I keep letting him go through this every week?? I thought it was because he had lost his confidence like at first and that a few more lessons he would be fine, or that he just didn't want to do it but maybe he really is scared! If so how shit am I to keep pushing him at it? I'm expecting that one week he'll maybe wake up and skip all the way there but that dream seems to be getting further and further away.
If it was karate or a sport that he was doing and he stopped enjoying it, I would be the first to say "don't go" so why is swimming any different? Is it because its a potential life saver?
I forget he is only 5 years old and the more I sit and think about it the more my heart says to stop, maybe I'm doing more damage sending him when it clearly puts him in distress! My job as a mother is to protect him and at the minute I'm the one that's making him feel like this, by pushing him into it every week! Iv come to the decision that he has two more lessons till the new course needs to be signed for and iv told him to give it two more goes and if he still really hates it we'll stop for a while, maybe try to put the fun back into it!
Has anyone else had this problem!?
Did they calm down and get used to it?
Please help a mamma in distress!
Thanks for reading.