First off ill apologise for the grammar in this post, I am dyslexic and my Grammarly account has decided to close down on me!!
Well if your one of the three people that read my blog then you will know I haven't been blogging, for the whole of March and most of April too! It has been a pretty shitty time for me, My hormones have been all over the fucking place and I have been so so SO emotional.
I have felt useless, not knowing what I was doing, or even who I was? Been a stay at home mum is hard and it is a lonely fucking place, Some weeks it seems like it's the same stuff just a different day, and there is only so many times I can hear my son saying he hates me before it starts ringing true in my over emotional, PMT raged head!!
So one night it all came to a head and I sat and cried for what seemed like hours, the type of tears that send you to sleep! I sat and thought about my day to day life and it made me sad, I spend far too much time on social media. My little boy was sat colouring on the floor and I was sat checking my twitter account! what am I doing!? I should be sat down there with him!! I'd run a bath and lay in it for an hour checking my social media accounts when I should be relaxing with a good book!
I needed a break from it all, I was fed up of looking into people's "perfect" parenting Instagrams and comparing my life to theirs! I was fed up of my son seeing me staring at my phone when he is shouting at me to watch him kick his ball around. What am I doing?
So I took a break, I pulled myself away from my blogging and social media accounts, I didn't stop using them all together but i would check in when the kiddies were in bed or when I was having a quick 10 mins to myself. (Not in the bath though!)
I have missed writing on my little blog so I am going to start blogging again, I'll be waiting until the kiddies are in bed and the posts won't be too regular as I found myself sitting and thinking of posts to write, posts that are going to get the most views...posts that are going to raise my followers....why?? This blog was meant to be for me, to write my journey and feelings down and now I'm putting off writing certain posts in case "people" may not like them, who cares I don't give a fuck, from now on it is MY blog and I will write whatever I like, if people read it then they read it but if they don't then there is no loss, as long as it's helping me on this crazy ass journey they call parenting, then it's serving its purpose.
Thanks for reading